March 27, 2009 ~ …and I was just about to get a haircut, too!
I started thinking about chemo again yesterday, of course. Reminiscing even, I guess. The PICC line. The 3/4 sleeves. The hats. The eventual baldness. The loss of eyelashes and eyebrows. Repetitively. The memory of it all washed over me last night, and I grieved a bit for it. But then, I was impressed to read through those blog entries once again, and you know what happened? I saw what carried me through all the worst of it – God’s love.
His love buoyed me above the weight of it that seeks to drag me under. It allows the flow of humor to come unhindered, and lets me keep my footing on this very steep and dangerous path. It’s His love. Unquestionably. It’s His love that has kept me moving forward. And not just moving forward, but moving forward with joy and peace.
He is so good. Even when things are bad. Okay, even when they go from bad to worse. He’s still good! And it’s not about His blessings of earthly stuff either! When I talk about His blessings, that’s not what I mean. Those who preach or teach that doctrine have missed the greatest treasure that the Lord has given us. It’s not money, or things that can be stolen or that a wrong turn of the economy can steal. If you’ve believed that, I pray that you will re-evaluate, and find the true treasure that is eternal and unable to be stolen from you. It is His great love for us. It is unfailing. Eternal. I don’t know how I could’ve faced the past year without it, and it’s mine to keep forever. No one can wrestle it from me, and just the imperfect knowledge of it that I have is enough to cover this entire journey and then some.
But I have to admit that as I was reading over those earlier posts, I was flooded with gratitude for these 8 months without the effects of such harsh chemo drugs. In fact, in 8 months I have actually been able to grow a decent head of hair, and I had just told John on Tuesday that I needed to get a haircut and was going to look through magazines for some ideas on a new ‘do. Now I have to laugh about that. No, I don’t think I’ll have anyone cut my hair now – each hair seems a little more precious today than it did on Tuesday!
OR
. . . Maybe I should get that haircut and try to look stylin’ for as long as I can before the hat-and-wig stage sets in.
What do you think? What would you do?
Lori,
Just a note to let you know that we are praying for you. If it were me (and I have a little rebel in me) I would get my hair cut.