March 26, 2009 ~ Setbacks and Do-Overs
You know when your oncologist calls you personally with your test results of the day before, that it’s not because she has good news. Good news travels slower – and usually comes by way of her fabulous nurse. Even sorta-bad news comes from the nurse, but when it’s just plain old, no-other-way-around-it, bad news - well that’s when you get a personal call from the super-busy cancer doctor.
Earlier this month I wrote about a setback in my war with this diagnosis of stage 4 breast cancer. Since then, I’ve been taking different meds to try to get my platelets to respond positively and get back up to a range that is closer to normal. Right now they’re in the basement. The new meds haven’t done the trick, and my platelets have been dropping lower and lower until today when my oncologist called to tell me the results of the tests done yesterday: they are now 33 (normal platelet count begins at 140.)
I’m not terribly surprised. Bruises have shown up for no reason other than a low platelet count, and I’ve been getting tuckered-out really easily. Neither are good signs when the cancer is in your bone marrow and your platelet count keeps falling too.
However (and I love this “however,”) I am still amazingly strong. The Lord is good. He is faithful. I’ve had no pain, very few days of profound sorrow, and He continues to brighten this perilous path with His great love for me. It makes this war, though unrelenting and hard, still peaceful and calm. And that amazes me! It really, truly (honestly!) does. I know that He reserved this tiny glimpse into His deep, Deep, DEEP ocean of love for us because it would give me strength and drive away fear. He is a loving Father. He doesn’t want me to be afraid. And because of His love, I’m not. I trust Him.
There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life – fear of death, fear of judgment – is one not yet fully formed in love. ~ 1 John 4:18 (The Message)
Tomorrow I start back on chemotherapy. We’ve had a nice 8-month break from it, but we’re having a do-over of the last chemo drug that gave us such a good result. As my doctor said, we will hope for the same kind of result as last time because it responded so excellently, and so quickly to the Paclitaxel (Taxol.) With much prayer, and also with much thanksgiving and gratitude to my loving Father, I will once again take a bend in this road with His hand in mine. I’m not alone. He’s so near I can almost touch Him.
Please remember John and me in your prayers, and always know how much we give thanks for you and the many, many ways that you have encouraged us and cheered us on as we run our race.
We love you.
And once again, we raise our voices in our battlecry!
Blessed be the name of the Lord! Blessed be His glorious name!
I put that video on and turned the volume up to the max! What can I say Lori but blessed be the Lord. He, and He alone is in charge. He is infinitetly wiser and knows what is best. We may not understand. We don’t understand. One scripture verse I continually stand on is… “Blessed is the man who perseveres through trials, when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life.”(NLT) I’m curious as to what the Message Bible says.
Lori, I’m honored you are my sister in Christ. There is going to be A GLORIOUS DAY when we’ll meet! You and you’re family are in my prayers. Love you:)
Lori, thanks again for your encouragement. Yes, He is in charge and I am safely in His care. And that beautiful scripture reads this way in The Message: “Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.” James 1:12. Much love, and hugs, to you!
I love that translation! Keep us posted! Luv Ya!
Oh, Lori, I’ve been so busy caring for my dad that I was unaware of your setback – my prayers and that of all of us go on strong for you – your courage inspires all of us and of course we will keep your family in prayer as well – also, thanks for sharing this awesome video – I will save it – May the Lord hug our Lori tightly and shower her with His peace and love!